So a friend of mine went away for a business trip to fabulous Las Vegas and I offered to take her car in to get a flat tire fixed (Turns out the tire was fine). In exchange I was going to use her Hot Tub since my back has been killing me all week, too much couch surfing I guess. On Tuesday I took the car to get fixed and when I brought the car back to her parking garage in San Francisco I parked next to a late model Volkswagen Jetta and went back to my own apartment feeling good about being able to help a friend out.

The next day I received a somewhat bewildering phone call from my friend who had just arrived back from Las Vegas saying that her car had been towed. Having parked in her parking space (Number Nine) I was beside myself as to why the car was towed. She said something about the building trying to contact her and how this fat guy parks next to her, yada yada.

So now I have the pleasure of driving down to Bayshore (aka The Ghetto) to repo this car. With a vague idea of where the impound was, we set out on our way. On the way the impound I mumbled how this is what I get for trying to do something nice and how I would live a much easier existence if I never left my house and severed all ties with friends and family. She mumbled something about Pink swimming in the pool at the Hard Rock Hotel and I just nodded in disbelief knowing I was about to drop some serious coin because some fat bastard driving a late model Jetta couldn’t suck in his obese gut.

Anyway after making several wrong turns and even more cell phone calls to the 80 year old geriatric woman at the impound we arrived where I had the displeasure of dropping 370 dollars to get the car back. So the moral of the story? Don’t park next to fat people, don’t do favors for friends, don’t leave you house, and if ain’t broke don’t fix it.

A Bit OffKilter
-Jeff